Monday, September 19, 2016

Cold War

A lot of times, we avoid confrontation and say, "That isn't a battle worth fighting."

The thing is, if the disagreement is in your head and you choose not to address it, you are not actually in the battle.  You are in a state of Cold War.  Tensions build.  Relationships are frayed.  Other important efforts are avoided.  Doing nothing can last a long time.  Doing nothing is a choice.

Sometimes you end up in a battle that you had no intention of fighting.  Words were exchanged and emotions were heated.  There might even be tears.  A poorly-handled conversation does have an advantage.  The disagreement is on the table.  Even if a little storming takes place, as uncomfortable as it may be, it is better than a cold war.  Is anyone else picturing the Airing of Grievances during Festivus?

When there is tension between folks, effective communication diminishes.  Whether it is a cold war or an argument, don't let it drop!  Find a way to finish the conversation.  A popular twitter meme says, "If you have to choose between being right or being kind, choose to be kind."   If I choose to be kind rather than to be right, am I choosing to be wrong???

Ideally, you can choose to be kind and continue the important conversation until a win-win decision can be found.  Ideally, you can keep talking through your differences until a mutually agreeable answer comes to life.  Even if both parties must choose to table the conversation for another time, at least the talking started and the cold war was avoided.