"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."
Focusing on an extremely difficult experience can make you miserable or it can make you strong. Most likely, it will do both. First you will feel miserable, then you will learn from the experience and be stronger. At first, feel the misery, dissect it, and let it soak in. Then as soon as possible, let it go. Find the learning experience.
When kids make mistakes, oftentimes the adult-given advice sounds easy, "Just count to ten before you answer...Just walk away from him...Just take a deep breath....Just keep your hands to yourself."
It just sounds so easy. But it isn't. If it had been easy, the kid wouldn't be having difficulties. When kids get reasonably emotional, tell them it is OK to feel the way they feel. If they happen to make poor choices due to those feelings, tell them it is not OK to act that way. Remember that it might only be easy for you because of the years of experience that you have under your belt. The situation at hand will end up being one of the experiences that help make things easy for that kid in the future.