The worries end and the work begins

When students walk in the door on the first day of school, they come with a history of experience that is oftentimes hard to realize.  Even Kinder kids have lived through experiences that have shaped their ability to find success in your classroom.  Some will walk in your door with a set of experiences that have prepared them to breeze through the year.  Others walk in with a set of experiences that have prepared them for the opposite.  Regardless of their experience, you get who you get.

How do you respond?

It is common to hear teachers talk about classrooms that are not well-balanced.  Some classrooms end up with more challenging students than other classes.  One teacher may have with more kids who aced the state test last year.  Another teacher got all the dyslexic kids.  The male teacher got all the boys coming from homes with no dads.  Another teacher has many students that are a bit bouncy.  As much as schools try to balance classes, it is almost impossible to get it perfect.

And the truth is that some teachers handle some kids a little better than others.  Some teachers are gifted with bouncy kids.  Some teachers find more success connecting with kids from broken homes.  Some teachers excel at bringing the best out of the most heterogeneous classroom full of the widest variety of kids.

Around this time of year, class lists are created.  Parents and families nervously/excitedly await the opportunity to find out who their teacher will be.  Indeed, teachers don't only get students.  They get families.

Teachers are nervous too!  They wonder how the names on that list will actually harmonize on a daily basis.  They wonder if they will be able to create and maintain a fantastic learning environment with a newly formed group that hasn't been together yet.  They wonder what new challenges lay ahead and if their previous experiences have made them ready!

Then the first day of school happens and kids head into their new classes with smiles.  Or nervous smiles.  Or maybe even tears.  And teachers smile as they try to welcome every single child into that new place.  And parents wonder all day long how it is going.

Sure, there may be a few hiccups in a few of those new classes, with a few of those new relationships.  But for the most part, the first few days create a bond between teacher and student.  The learning environment works!  The teacher finds success.  The student finds success.  These two are not always easy, but they happen all the time and they outweigh the failures.  After all the nervous wondering about what the new class brings, after a few days, the worries end and the work begins!

It was an accident!

It seems like twice a year, I get to climb up on the roof of the school to retrieve a shoe.  When I ask how the shoe ended up on the roof, I always get the same answer, "It was an accident!"

I love asking kids to show me how it "accidentally" came off their foot and landed on the roof.  I try to "accidentally" kick my shoe up there too!  So far, not one kid has been able to recreate the experience.  We do have a few laughs trying though.

Usually, the kid tells me that he was trying to kick his shoe off of his foot and it "accidentally" ended up on the roof.  That one has been recreated a few times by a few kids and once by me.  Most often, I finally hear the actual truth, "It wasn't actually an accident."

Another accident happens occasionally, "Why did you hit him?"

"It was an accident!"

I know you really can accidentally hit someone, but rarely does it include a balled up fist and a quick jab.  Real accidental hits occur from turning around quickly in a crowd, pointing in a direction you aren't looking, or trying to avoid red hornets!

I ask kids to show me this "accidental" hit.  The two versions never look the same.  Not even close.  Oftentimes, I hear this, "Well, I was pretending to punch him, then I accidentally made contact."

The punching action was purposeful but the contact was unintended.  You meant to throw the punch but you accidentally made contact.  In the same action.

When things happen accidentally on purpose, it is important that we teach them the difference!

Did you hear what I said?

This morning, I gave some very specific directions to a student.  I was quite sure she understood me.  There was no way she could have misunderstood me because my words were simple to comprehend and easy to do.

So she went to her next class and described her understanding of my words to her teacher.  And somehow, she got it wrong!  Well, I was CERTAIN that I described it perfectly!  Until she explained her understanding of my instructions to her teacher and it made perfect sense.  She thought she was being asked to leave directly at the end of the class and I thought she understood that she needed to leave at the beginning of the next class.  I don't remember the exact words, but both understandings were understandable!

So the teacher gave me an immediate example of a simple request that apparently wasn't so simple.  Her students were writing persuasively to convince the school not to require uniforms.  A student wrote some good stuff and the teacher wanted him to expand on the five W's and the H.  She asked what she thought was a simple question, "Who doesn't want to do what with the uniforms?"

He replied, "Where."

She tried again, "Who doesn't want to do what....with the uniforms?"

He could tell that the repeated question meant that she didn't think he understood it the first time, so he responded with a bit more question in his answer, "Where?"

The teacher, hearing that he was confused, asked a different way, "Not Where.  Who?"

He said, "Oooohhhh!!!  I thought you wanted to know what we didn't want to DO with the uniforms, so I said wear!"

It is all so easy to understand myself when I speak!

Unconditional Positive Response

Flip Flippen, founder of Capturing Kids' Hearts, uses the term 'unconditional positive response' to describe the deep concern that outstanding teachers demonstrate for their students.  This deep concern can be shown in many ways as long as there is a strong foundation built on the Golden Rule.

Even for the best teachers, occasionally, a student will act with complete disrespect.  An outstanding teacher will model a positive response.  A student may yell out repeatedly in class every single day.  An outstanding teacher will model a positive response by staying calm and using appropriate language.  A student my get out of his seat or storm out of the classroom.  An outstanding teacher will model a calm and respectful response.

The examples can go on and on.  Kids may make poor choices when they reach a boiling point.  The teacher's reaction will help determine what happens next.  If your response is unconditionally positive, the results will be positive.  If you let your emotions control your response, or you meet the student at his elevated emotional level, your response will most likely be negative.

I have seen a few examples of incredible patience over the last few weeks involving some quite difficult situations.  Kids with truly stressful situations and inappropriate actions met with grace and dignity.  As challenging as it may be in the heat of the moment, these positive examples of responses are always better than trying to "win" a tough situation with an emotional student.