Interrupting cow!

Some kids love this joke!  Other kids don't get it.  As I participate in more conversations each day with kids and teachers, I have noticed a continuum of interrupters.  Some people cannot let you finish a single sentence without interrupting.  Some people never interrupt.  They practice Covey's Habit #5 almost perfectly, seeking first to understand before trying to be understood.  Don't we all love to be listened to and heard!

On the interrupting side of folks, there are many different reasons and styles.  Some simply cannot wait to share their own thoughts.  Some are excited about the topic and want to participate.  Some understand your point-of-view perfectly and don't need to hear any more.  They interrupt to move the conversation forward.  Some want to tell your story for you or better than you.

Then there is the method of interruption.  There are the, "Umm hmm-ers."  They voice their agreement throughout your words with a barrage of agreeing hums!  There are the sentence finishers.  How lucky not to need to ever finish your own sentence!  There are the folks who already know what you are saying.  They provide a response before you have even posed a question.  There are the story-tellers.  They interrupt in order to tell you a personal story related to the topic of conversation.  There are the questioners.  They have a question before you finish what you are saying.  In a classroom, you know these kids because their hands pop-up after the first 6 words, regardless of what you have already said or what you still need to say.

My favorite, new interrupting style is the, "Yeah, no" and the "No. yeah."  These folks may or may not agree or disagree.  They usually add their two cents with truly contradicting what has already been said.

With students, it is easy for most of us to handle the interruptions.  As a teacher, you choose the correct response.

How do you handle it with adults?  Is it different?  What about that one person on campus that interrupts everyone, every... single... time?  Everyone has that one coworker that interrupts every single time.  So much that it is impossible to have a conversation.  Do you give up?  Do you interrupt back?  Does your facial expression make it clear that you don't appreciate the interruption?  Do you handle it gracefully, while always seeking to first understand?  Or do you put your head down and simply avoid the conversation altogether?

It seems to be a common response for folks to follow the interrupting lead.  In order to participate with the interrupter, lots of folks are compelled to interrupt back.  Other folks just stop trying to talk.  If you get two interrupters in a group, they just end up talking over each other until the oxygen is depleted from the room.  The silver lining in this situation is the valuable side conversations that ensue while the two of them make noise together.

To make this better for your work team, what do you do?  How do you make sure there is equal voice for each team member?

Time for lesson planning

I think I knew this, but I didn't really get it.  Now... I get it.

As a principal, I would try my best to model and provide excellent PD.  In order to move our entire campus forward, I would labor and toil over PD design in order to make a big impact for all.  I would try to make it engaging for all by differentiating for differing levels of mastery.  My materials would be prepared ahead of time and I would have my questions ready to ask.  Musical interludes were common and there would always be plenty of movement and sharing.  I would be sure to highlight specific strategies and take-aways that could be used immediately in classrooms.  I also had two dynamic luxuries.  I did most of this planning with brilliant collaboration from my AP and my instructional coach.  Most importantly, I had tons of time to design and prep the PD.  It was not uncommon to spend three or four hours designing each hour of PD.  I believe my efforts to design and provide high-quality learning experiences for teachers were the most important hours of my time.

As a teacher, I try my best to provide excellent learning for my students.  In order to move my class forward, I invest brain-power and sweat to ensure that each student benefits from the learning activities.  I consider differentiation as much as possible and I hope to have material and questions prepped and ready for the day prior to the learning experience.  I have the luxury of planning time with a smart and complementary team of teachers.  I wish we could meet every day, but it isn't feasible...yet.  Without them, I wouldn't be able to leave campus before dark!  I believe every teacher's hardest work and most important work happens during the lesson design process.  With approximately 5.5 hours of classroom learning time each day, I estimate that I have about 15-20 minutes to plan each hour of learning.  This includes 45 minutes of time during my available conference times and 90-120 minutes before or after school each day.  These numbers are probably inflated due to all of the other time requirements that happen during a teacher's planning time.  Ten hour days are the short ones!

PD happens.  Great classroom strategies, models for instruction, and high-yield strategies are taught, practiced, and discussed.  As a principal, I wondered why these strategies didn't show up more ubiquitously in classrooms across campus.  Now... I get it.

Banging erasers

Before whiteboards, classrooms had chalkboards and chalk.  The chalk in the erasers would build up and they would need to be cleaned out by banging the erasers together.  Kids in the class usually took care of this duty.  I banged erasers together a lot!  It took me awhile to realize that I was tricked!

Sometimes I banged the erasers together instead of going to recess as a punishment and sometimes I banged the erasers together instead of going to recess as a reward.

The exact same activity was a reward and a punishment.  My reaction to the activity differed though.  When it was a reward, I loved it!  The teacher chose me out of everyone in the whole class!  I didn't mind missing recess because I was a helper!  I was recognized for something good!  My teacher liked me!

When it was a punishment, I hated it.  I did not want to miss recess.  I wanted to play!  I could barely breathe from all the chalk dust.  Not fair!  Why me?  I wasn't the only one talking at the wrong time!  Banging erasers was cruel and unusual punishment.

Same activity.  Different reason and different reaction.

When I talk to kids who have made a poor choice, I try to remember my erasers.  I ask myself, "What do I need this student to learn?" and, "How can I help them learn it?"

A group of students was running down the hall.  There were 10-12 of them.  The rest of the class was walking appropriately.  What did I want them to learn?  I wanted them to learn that a herd of kids running through the hall together is not safe.

How did I want them to learn it?

I could have given them the riot act.  I could have used my old-school principal voice (high volume and too many words.)  I could have marched them through the halls for 10 minutes and critiqued every step and misstep.  Not so good.

I looked at the situation from the opposite direction.  I asked myself, "What would I do to show off the excellent hallway walking skills of these kids?"  I would practice the skill, then trust them to do it well.

The answer became clear.  With ZERO sarcasm, I kindly asked them to practice walking in the hall for a little bit.  Probably 15 seconds.  Then I praised the action.  I got them out of their line and asked them to walk for a few more seconds.  Again, I praised their efforts and gave them a giant grin!  I asked them, "Check yourself...Who needed a quick reminder?"

Several hands went up.  Sometimes we all need a reminder.  I said, "Thanks for the quick practice session.  Head on back to your class.  I trust you."

Runners gonna run!

Some people are really well-conditioned to only act when told what to do.  They defer all decisions to their boss.  They may do what they are told quite well, but this group of people doesn't make the decisions.  They wait to be told what to do.

There seems to be a correlation between the folks who wait to be told what to do and the folks who complain about what they are told to do.  They are usually the same people!

Some folks are so busy forging on with great teaching and learning that they don't wait for much!  Ron Clark, National Teacher of the Year and founder of The Ron Clark Academy says that these folks are runners  and they are too busy running ahead doing things that are best for kids to wait to be told what to do.  And they are definitely too busy to complain about it!

Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly, says that when we are willing to own our story, we can write our own ending.  Don't wait for someone to tell you what to do.  Don't let someone else write your story. Wake up each day and ask yourself, "How can I be better today than I was yesterday?"  Then go be better!

They made fun of me today

The talent show was today.  It was incredible!  The talent that our kids shared was amazing!  The production effort of the staff was equally amazing!  Singers turned to comedy routines turned to drummers turned back to singers with the designed precision of a Broadway show!  Wow!

They followed it up with a quick act by the staff to celebrate the end of a great year and to have a little fun.  Several of the teachers acted out snippets of what teachers act like at the end of the year.  They showed a stereotypical teacher who might be too tired to get out the door on time during the month of May.  The next teacher was from our school, and could not WAIT to get to school to see our shiny, happy kids!  OK, so my last morning announcement of the year said that we simply could not WAIT to see the kids next year and we were sad that the school year had to end.

Then I walked on stage.  It looked kinda like me anyway.  He painted on a beard and covered just enough hair to look bald like me.  He also had his radio on his belt and his phone in his hand.  He spoke in an animated, overly-optimistic tone and gave the kids my usual "sign-off" for morning announcements, speedily saying, "Make it a supergreatwonderfulfantasticexcellentfaboulous day!"  He added about 22 more similar words, including a few that have never before been heard!  As he walked off stage, he pulled up his britches.  I guess I might do that too.

They made fun of me.

And it was funny!  And I was flattered!  And it really made my day and made me feel like a more included part of the campus!  I loved it!  If they had not included this little part of the show, the show still would have been awesome!  But by including it, they included me!  And I am thrilled to be a part of such a great group of folks!

Jeff is a lifelong friend of mine.  He is a genius, and an engineer, with multiple patents.  For as long as I have known him, he has lived by a simply motto, "I don't care whether you are laughing with me or at me, as long as you are laughing."

It was awesome to have so many folks laughing at me with me today!

Are you only happy on weekends?

Some people get to Friday and find themselves suddenly looking for a way to do something that makes them happy.  They go all week long, trudging through the week, with no happiness other than the upcoming weekend.  For some people, the happy times includes time with friends or family.  Others just want to kick off their shoes, sit back, and relax.  Then the weekend ends, and it is back to a Monday through Friday grind.

Don't let it be a grind!  As you head through this weekend, start planning ahead for next week.  Find your joy every single day of every single week!

Be a No Man!

The best plans for success often follow the toughest arguments.  We don't always recognize it, but a really good disagreement typically shows how far apart folks are thinking when the improvment process begins  Once the work is done, the result that follows the argument must be good if everyone supports it because it has overcome the differences that caused the argument in the first place.  Unless you are a "Yes" Man.

Don't apologize to people for having a difference of opinion.  Use your differences to build something greater than any one of you could have done on your own!


When your team is looking to make things better, first be sure you share a common goal.  If you have that, be sure team members are not copies of the same thoughts.  Most of all, be sure you are not simply saying yes to the rest of the team, just to keep the peace.  It is OK to be a "No" Man!

Butterflies

A little bit of fear is not always a bad thing.  That little feeling you get as you face a challenge.  It may be your new job, a new student in your classroom, or even walking in the building with a new haircut.  The deep breath you take as you approach your challenge is a sign that some level of fear is with you.  Butterflies in your stomach!

Many coaches believe that the feeling of butterflies in your stomach prior to a competition is healthy and contributes towards a strong performance.  The same can be said for singers, dancers, and actors.  Teachers get the feeling on the first day of school every year, just before the kids walk in the door!  This fear is not the opposite of courage!  Courage is what you use to overcome your fears!  A little bit of fear always loses to bravery!

Embrace those butterflies!  Step up to the starting line and run!  When the curtain opens, smile and shine!  When you feel those butterflies in your stomach, you know you are doing something that takes courage.  Smile as you reach beyond your comfort zone and let your bravery show!

Brave and Happy!

Do what you can!

Make it happen.  Get it started.  Get it done.

These statements are not always so easy for a lot of folks.  Fear gets in the way.  Oftentimes, we look for some kind of answer to be given to us or we wait for a new factor to play into our actions.  We wait for someone else to influence our decisions and our actions before jumping in.

Great advice!  If you begin with the end in mind, then focus on these three phrases, you will be able to take that first step to action.  This doesn't mean you shouldn't seek the help of others.  Seeking assistance may be step #1.  Sure, it may be risky, but will it be worth it?  Probably.  Do what you can, then continue to do it better!  We want kids to do this in school, so shouldn't we follow the same advice?

Be brave and happy.  Get it started!

Think, then do!

Dan Millman is one of my favorite authors.  I devoured his books in my 20's and 30's, yet many of his ideas still resonate strongly 15-20 years later.  Over the last few weeks, I have been doing a lot of thinking about a potential upcoming assignment.  Then, as I was thinking, I thought to myself, "I am doing way to much thinking and not enough doing!"  Dan Millman says it this way:




As a guy who wants to be proactive, I decided to make a call this morning, just to ask about the assignment timeline that I am quite eager to learn about.  The timeline is not in my circle of influence, but it is in my circle of concern.  First I thought, then I proactively chose to ease my concern by making a phone call and asking!  Not so tough!

Dan Millman would be proud!

Is this good enough to try?

So you have been working on something new,  You are excited about the potential benefits of your efforts and you are passionate about finding success.  At some point, you might ask yourself, "Is this good enough to try?"

The answer to this question is almost always yes!  If your new endeavor is good enough to call good, it is good enough to try.  Give it a shot, learn from your efforts, then make improvements.

If you are waiting for the perfect plan before making it happen, you could be waiting a long time.

Study Time!

I was looking at my weekly plan this morning, and I realized my weekly ritual of creating this plan and taking care of my big rocks is something I have done for almost two years now.  It has given me many successes and it has certainly improved my level of a fruitful life in all of the important roles I play in this world.

Then the thought popped into my head, "Time to study those Seven Habits again!"

During the last year, I have been honored to facilitate The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and The Leader in Me at several campuses.  Each faculty uniquely set the stage for their learning and implementation of these habits.  When excellent educators learn something that will benefit their students, they almost always begin talking about how to implement their new knowledge with students.  This discussion excites the staff more than any other!

Some schools chose kick off their implementation of the Seven Habits by teaching one habit per week, or one habit per month.  Some schools did the first three habits, the private victory, for the first month, then the next three habits, the public victory, during the second month.  Different ways all lead to the same end in mind.

So, like these schools, I am going to invest my time in a bit of study.  One habit at a time.  Like reading a great book or watching a great movie, I expect to see things I didn't see before.  Here I go!

Scary things!

On December 1, 2014, I wrote about doing one thing each day that scares me, 31 Scary Days.   After 31 days, I have actually learned a lot about myself!  Some of these items were more scary than others.  Sometimes, I simply noted something I said or did that may have required even just a smidge of courage.  These items are also definitely not the scariest thing I did each of the days.  They are simply examples!  It was fun to note something for each day!  I think the point is that if I ever have a day that nothing worth noting happens, perhaps that day was wasted.

December 1, 2014
Today, I had a conversation with a friend about his health.  He mentioned that he needs to lose about 80 pounds.  From his words, I heard that he was desperate to turn things around.  I took a deep breath, and bravely told him that I was worried about his health too.  I told him that every day he waits to turn his health around will make his turn-around tougher to accomplish.    I looked him in the eye and honestly told him that he his fully capable of making it happen and that I believed in him! I offered to do some push-ups with him too.

I think he was surprised to hear me say it. I was a little surprised too, but what I told him was the truth.  Usually, we want our friends to tell us what we want to hear.  Sometimes, we want our friends to tell us what we need to hear.  It can be quite difficult to know the difference.

December 2, 2014
It wasn't easy, but I listened to the whole story.  I didn't want to do it.  I wanted to interrupt and cut to the chase.  I've heard this particular story before so I felt like I knew where to go.  Instead, I focused on the words and the delivery and simply restated what I wanted clarified.  I asked for more information when my own picture wasn't clear.  I listened to the whole story and it wasn't easy!  But I listened to the whole story, and a real solution was found!  Empathic listening isn't easy, but it is worth it!

December 3, 2014
I volunteered for an assignment that was out of my comfort zone.  I don't think I have the experience required for the job.  I did it, because it will relieve the anxiety of a coworker and it will add precious gold coins to our emotional bank account.  I'm a bit scared about getting it done effectively, but I know I am willing to put forth the effort to make it happen!

December 4, 2014
An interview is a scary thing!  The idea of balancing the dialogue between what I believe in and bragging about myself is a tough one!  This is further challenged by the balance between talking about the past and talking about the future.  During an interview, some folks want to know what you have accomplished and some want to know what you are aiming to do next!  Finally, there is the wait!  Kudos to Manor ISD for making the wait 24 hours rather than an unknown time frame!

December 5, 2014
I am facilitating an improvement team en absentia.  This team really wants to find solutions with only the folks who do the hard work.  In order to maintain confidentiality, they do not want anyone outside of their group to be present for the meeting, including me, the facilitator.  It is a bit scary to think that I am supposedly helping steer the efforts without going along for the ride!  This challenge does offer facilitation experience to a few others on the team, which is a good thing!  Can I do this blindly???

December 6, 2014
Soccer tournament time for my youngest!  I love watching him play soccer!  over the last few years, I have really made sure that my cheers stay positive and model good sportsmanship.  Today's referees made this a challenge today!  I have no problem with refs who make mistakes.  They are human after all.  Today's ref simply didn't care and he treated our 11 year olds poorly.  Nevertheless, I remained a good sport!

December 7, 2104
This morning, I talked with my boys about going to see a movie.  My oldest son wanted to see Interstellar at the IMAX Theater.  My youngest son did not.  He insisted on seeing the new Hunger Games flick.  Since we disagreed, we looked for a third alternative and simply didn't find another movie to go to.  We talked about doing something else, but we had gift cards for the theater!  In the end, My youngest son got a few tears in his eyes and said he just wasn't going to go.  When I asked him why, he had a difficult time telling me.  I tried to gently and calmly ask him for more information so we could solve this together, but he didn't really want to explain it.  I didn't want to leave him this way!  I felt like if I waited patiently, he would somehow be able to verbalize his reasoning.  That is tough to do when his reason was, "I saw the trailer for Interstellar and it looks like the stupidest movie ever."

How do you respond to that?

I said, "Tell me more."  He initially refused, then opened up a little bit.  Tough conversation, for sure!

December 8, 2014
Today, I spent a good deal of time thinking about who I am as an educator.  I revisited by belief statements and my personal mission for education.  I asked myself, "Are these things guiding you to be the best educator you can be?"  I tweaked a few things here and there and made sure my dedication to these words was still strong.

December 9, 2014
I spoke with a few district leaders today.  They heard my ideas and beliefs with open eyes and open ears.  It was an enjoyable experience because they were quite engaged in the conversation and appreciated my input.  I was proud of myself for sharing without compromising my beliefs.  Oftentimes, it is easy to say what you think people want to hear rather than your actual thoughts.  This can be especially true when the group consists of passionate and dedicated educators.  It was a great time!

December 10, 2014
I attended a training session today for the second time.  I wanted to be sure that I didn't miss anything the first time.  Even though it would have been easier to skip it because I already attended the training once, I went again and made the most of it!

December 11, 2014
I facilitated a meeting with the enrichment unit today.  We needed to determine how this group would best take care of the requirements for monthly update reports for our ongoing projects.  As with any change, a few folks responded to the new requirements with rolled eyes.  By sticking with the purpose of these updates and discussing ways to make them more meaningful to the group on a regular basis, we walked away with a positive plan of action!

December 12, 2014
I accompanied the associate commissioner of education for academic standards and programs to meeting in our state capital.  A state representative wanted some expert opinion on a bill she wants to file.  In this case, I was not the expert!  But, it was very interesting listening to the conversations at a state legislative level!

December 13, 2014
Courageously, I did not much today!  It was our first non-soccer weekend in a long time.  I love watching my boys play soccer.  It is absolutely one of my favorite things to do!  It sure was nice to sit back and relax.  I don't sharpen my saw by doing nothing too often.  Today, I did!

December 14, 2014
I am anticipating some news today.  It might be good or it might not be good.  Because I have already done my part to make the news good, the decision is now outside of my control, so I will now focus on things that are actually within my circle of influence instead of worrying.

December 15, 2014
This is the time of year when the sweets show up in the office.  Today, I only ate one cookie!  I don't know if it was scary, but it sure was tough!

December 16, 2014
There was an Open House environment at the office today.  The chance to walk around a mingle and meet the folks that I often only know over the phone.  I accepted the challenge and can now put faces with names!

December 17, 2014
Today's scare was interesting for me.  I challenged myself to attack a few of my Quadrant One tasks, finishing each one in order.  Quadrant One tasks are both urgent and important.  I am very good at meeting deadlines, but I typically move from task to task to task in a fairly random pattern,  For me, it keeps my brain fresh.  I was able to make it through these tasks one at a time today!

December 18, 2014
We cancelled a meeting today.  There simply wasn't enough on the agenda to get everyone away from more important work.  The only decisions to be made by the group were not urgent.  The best meetings are the ones that make people smarter, better, and more connected.  This one would not have done any of those, so we cancelled it!

December 19, 2014
As the new guy in the office, I have been much more of a listener than a talker.  I work to learn from those who have been here longer than I have.  I want to learn from them.  Not only from their words, but also from their history here.  Sometimes their decisions are based on practices and procedures that I just don't know about yet.  At our weekly meetings, I find that I am asking questions in order to help me see into the past around here.  Today, my supervisor told me that she really appreciated my questions because they are good ones that help the entire team focus on why things are done in a certain way.  She said that it is good for the this group to examine the why more often and she appreciated me for asking!

December 20, 2014
Shopping day!  This day scares me!  I did the majority of shopping online this year, but there are some things that need to be found in person.  I did it!  I got it done!  Hooray me!

December 21, 2014
Packing day!  Even scarier than shopping.  Gotta make sure I get everything in this car before heading north for holiday.  Gotta make sure not to forget something that can't be replaced once we get there!

December 22, 2014
Driving day!  It is not too far.  Just three hours north on I35, from Austin to Fort Worth.  If you have ever driven this stretch of highway, you know it is scary!

December 23, 2014
I taught my boys how to play Spades.  I wondered if they would enjoy the game.  They did!  As they get older, it is really enjoyable to expand the number of things we can do together!

December 24, 2014
Two days ago, I wrote about Beach Time.  Today, I found it.  Rather the hurry that often happens on Christmas Eve, I was able to slow things down and fully enjoy my moments with my family.  We always have a great time together, but this today, I really focused on trying to be in each moment that I encountered in a house full of people doing 14 different things at any given moment.  Beach Time!

December 25, 2014
What could possibly be a scary thing to do on Christmas Day?  I thought it would be to watch my steak intake!  My brother-in-law grills the most amazing steak.  I did not succeed.  I ate WAY too much.  So, I will say that I bravely ate more than I needed to eat.  Yummy!

December 26, 2014
Today, we all went to visit my 95 year old grandmother.  She is an incredible woman!  A former teacher and counselor who truly appreciates educators.  What a treasure to still be able to chat with her.  I am lucky to still have this opportunity!  The past few years, as much as I love every visit with her, it is hard to say goodbye.

December 27, 2014
I spent the evening with my best friend tonight.  I chose to spend a little more money than I typically would have spent, but it was worth every penny.  Our time together was worth way more than those pennies!

December 28, 2014
Time to drive home.  My boys want to stay longer.  They want more time with their cousins and the rest of the family.  I want this too.  Unfortunately, we need to say our farewells and head home.

December 29, 2014
There were lots of folks gone from the office today.  I bravely took on several phone calls that were outside of my area of expertise.  Very interesting!  Several times, I responded with, "That is a great question!  Let me see if I can find the answer and call you back!"

December 30, 2014
I am not a plumber, yet I promised to fix the leaky faucet.  This is a brave move on my part! [UPDATE: I did it!  No more leaky faucet!]

December 31, 2014
Tonight, I made a long trip to buy some firecrackers for my kids.  Both boys are quite responsible and I am very lucky to know that they have good heads on their shoulders.  Nevertheless, they are kids.  I trusted them to use the firecrackers wisely!  They didn't lose a finger or set fire to anything, so I am glad I trusted them!

Only once a year?

Every new year brings the opportunity to start fresh.  It is an easy opportunity to make things happen or to forgive yourself in whatever way you need it, and begin again.  Sadly, January 1st only comes once a year.

Beginning January 1st, make your plan to not wait until January 1st ever again.  If you want to set a goal, make a resolution, or choose to live by your personal mission statement, don't wait on the calendar to choose your starting point.  Choose it yourself!  Don't wait for the next Monday or the next 1st of the month, choose your own starting gate and go!

#12books2015

Only a few more days to make yourself a few new promises for 2015.  I've seen a recent trend that makes sense to me.  Rather than the usual resolutions that end up as disappointments after a few days or weeks, quite a few people are setting goals that change habits and involve a support system.  Rather than a promise to "Do Better..." at some thing or another thing, make your resolution measurable and share it with the world!

Principal Salome Thomas-EL (@Principal_EL) set a goal of running 500 miles in 2014.  He challenged folks to join him on Twitter.  Check out hashtag #500in2014 to see examples of how a great Twitter community can work together to achieve goals!

By resolving to run 500 miles during the year, he was able to change his exercise habits and involve others.  He didn't promise to run every day, or even more generic, to get more exercise.  He sustained an injury along the way.  It slowed him down for a bit, but it did not kill his goal!  His goal was a year-long endeavor rather than a simple resolution to do better!  Way to go Principal EL!

He also publicized his progress on Twitter.  What a great way to keep yourself motivated!

Now I need your help.  For 2015, I am going to create a list of books to read.  I am thinking somewhere between eight and twelve for the year.  I will track my progress with #12books2015.

What are the must-read books for 2015?

Beach time!

So much to do!  So much to get done!  Gotta hurry!  Gotta go, go, GO!

This sounds like pretty much everyone I know for the next few days!  Traveling, last minute presents, and let's not forget the thirteen trips to the grocery store to get the sliced almonds for the green been casserole and the marshmallows for the sweet potatoes!  Then for those of us with kids, the morning of December 25th is all about surprise and smiles and laughter!

Then we get to some point after the craziness, and we get to slow down.  That point where we stop hurrying to get ready for the holiday and we actually relax.  

I wonder if there is a way to make things slow down over the next few days instead?  Can I slow down and soak in the next few days and relax, even though the trips to the store will still be necessary?  So many people, myself included, typically need a few days off after the vacation, to recover from the vacation. 

In the summers, I call this relaxing period, "Beach time."  After several days on the beach, with nothing to do but enjoy the minutes with my toes in the sand.  Things slow down and there is not much urgency at all.  I relax.  That doesn't mean that I sit in a chair under my EZ-Up the whole time.  For me, I am catching sea critters and fishing with my boys.  We play in the waves and play games on the beach.  I read a few pages and chat with friends.  I take a thousand pictures.  I am actually quite busy on the beach!  But it is the most relaxing busy that I know.  Beach time.

Is there a way to get myself on beach time for the next few days?  I am gonna try it out!

Two Steps Forward

Last year, around this time, I was gearing up for my big New Year's Resolution.  I was determined to eat better, lose a few pounds and make exercise a habit again!  I know...I shared this resolution with about 200 million other people in this country!  I resolved to start this on January 2nd because there is always leftover pie on January 1st!

So on January 2nd, I really worked hard to make it happen.  I started off great!  Through January and February, I ate more vegetables and less bread.  I stopped going back for a second helping at every meal.  I started going on some long walks and even ran a bit.  I did push-ups and pull-ups and other exercises that can easily be done at home and in the office.  By the end of February, I had lost about 20 pounds and I was feeling good!  I had established a few new habits that were working for me!

On February 28th, a friend asked me if I could play for his indoor soccer team because they were missing a few players.  I eagerly agreed and played pretty well.  It was a blast!  With about three minutes left in the game, I was chasing down a ball that was heading towards our goal, I flipped the ball against the wall to my right, then cut left.  Unfortunately, my knee cut right, and POP.

I tore my ACL.  I knew it.  I limped off the field, and grabbed some ice.  A few days later, the doc confirmed my injury and scheduled surgery for March 20th.  What a downer!  For the first time in quite a few years, I had made a resolution that actually stuck!  It stuck because I chose a few easy habits that I could actually maintain.  The question became, would I be able to keep up with my new routines through the six month recovery period?

Post surgery included  massive back pain and a nasty hematoma under one of my incisions.  Six months turned into eight months.  A few months into rehab, I felt like I had failed to maintain my new habits.  I wasn't focused on the veggies as much and there was really no way to get my exercise with a bum knee.

What's the point?

Looking back now, I realize that I didn't exactly fail.  I may have missed days (or weeks) but the general habits are still there.  Missing one day or week does not mean that I destroyed my resolution.  It does not mean I broke the good habit and I need to start from scratch.  It doesn't mean that I need to wait until the next January first to begin again.  A habit is not broken so easily, especially if my resolve to keep it is strong!  "Two steps forward, one step back" is still progress!

I Predict...

When faced with a tough decision, what are the questions you ask yourself?  Do you play out the potential scenarios?  Do you weigh the potential benefits against the potential detriments?  Among all the questions, do you ever actually ask yourself, "Will this make me happier?"

When faced with a tough decision, we all have different thought processes that come into play.  Robert Biswas-Deiner says, "We make a lot of our decisions based on predictive future happiness."  While I don't think this is necessarily new information for me, I know it is the first time it has been presented to me so clearly.

When faced with a tough decision, I try to take my time, consider all the factors and options, gather the opinions of others, then choose.  Now, I am going to ask myself one more question, "Am I giving my future happiness too much emphasis as I decide?"

It is hard to imagine purposely making a decision that does not eventually make me happier.  I'd like to think that I won't make a decision out of fear that the choice will actually lead to less happiness.  Sure, there will be times when I must muddle through the thunderstorms in order to find the end of the rainbow, but isn't it worth it?

Choose Bravely!

When you take a risk and try something new, you are exercising your freedom.  When you avoid the risk, you are still exercising your freedom.  Your choice to do nothing new is still your choice, given to you by your own freedom.

Whether you take the risk or do nothing, you own the choice and the outcome.  Choose bravely!

Drive Safely!

I remember loving cars when I was little because of the dashboard.  I loved all the little gauges with the needles that pointed out one measure or another.  I wondered what they measured and I liked to watch them move.  It took me a while to understand the tachometer.  I didn't quite comprehend how the engine speed could differ from the car's speed.  I was also intrigued by the "red zone" on the tach.  That was the engine's danger zone!

These days, I keep my eyes on the gauges in my truck to make sure my car doesn't over heat and everything is running well.  I'd prefer not to break down on the side of the road!

I was chatting with a co-worker a few days ago and he told me that he was hurrying home from work and there was a Sunday driver in the left lane with a line of cars backed up behind him and an empty lane ahead.  He was traveling 15 miles an hour under the speed limit and gradually getting slower and slower.  He said, "The slower he went, the higher my road rage gauge climbed!"

That got me thinking...we all have personal gauges for a variety of things.  We all have measures that go up and down depending on our circumstances.  Theses gauges may be more or less sensitive to certain issues than other folks.  For example, your road rage gauge may not budge when you encounter a slow driver in the left lane.  But, maybe you get cranky when that same driver throws his cigarette out of his window.  That may make your litterbug gauge jump to eleven!  I think these personal differences are somewhat based on your own personal wiring.

 I know there are tons of inventories out there to help get in touch with our personalities, our internal wires.  I think those inventories can be quite helpful for people to get to know themselves.  I have done several of them and I know that I am a learner, I am orange (True Colors), and I like to ask questions.  I also know that I need to be more patient and I need to be a bit more organized.

However, those inventories provide a snapshot.  A somewhat static, overall measure.  Realistically, many of the traits on our personal dashboards are more like the gauges in our cars.  They change constantly due to other factors.  How often do we monitor our personal gauges?  Do we know when we are about to hit the "red zone?"  Do we monitor our dashboard to make sure we don't break down on the side of the road?

Drive safely, my friends!